When The Pair Met – The Dragon Trilogy Written by Samantha James

Okay everybody, here is part one of my Cordelia Alvin Dragon trilogy.   Please show mercy and leave me a comment and let me know what you think of it so far? Whether good or bad opinions. I really appreciate the feedback to my writing! Much love! ♥

 

This is the story of how the fairy met the dragon. Our heroines are still human and this is their tale! I hope everyone enjoys and leave your thoughts below!

WHEN CORDELIA ALVIN MET COLE

BY SAMANTHA JAMES

She is a fairy.

He is a dragon.

It was not always that way.

She was a girl.

He was a boy.

It was a love more than love

It should have been very simple

But she is a fairy and he is a dragon

Love … it’s complicated.

Cordelia Alvin lay on a beach just outside her little home in Gwynhallow, the fairy city in which she now lived. The girl of fifteen sat contemplating what her life had become. She had once been human and was the heir of a prominent noble family, house Fitzgerald. Cordelia was no longer in that world. She now carried the surname Alvin which meant fairy. How did this all happen? She sat watching the waves roll up onto the shore gradually becoming less and less as they hit the sand. It occurred to her just then that this was what her life was like. She was nothing now. Cordelia was nobody, the unnoticed. She had started life out big like a wave but was now reduced to dampness on the sand.

It had not always been so. She was the sole child of Henry James Fitzgerald; the families’ patriarch and the Duke of Ameliadale. She knew life would see her become a future duchess. Cordelia had been even luckier than that. The young noblewoman had met Cole Turner when she was just six years old. He was the boy who would rule alongside Cordelia as duke. They met by a little creek near her families’ castle.

The day the two met, Cordelia knew she would meet her future husband. The marriage already arranged, and fate sealed. She wanted a perfect picnic; alas, this was not to be so. A storm blew over Ameliadale out of nowhere, pouring a fierce and deep rain. Cordelia’s plans were destroyed as the lunch was ruined. The girl had set up blankets and pillows. She brought some of her favorite books and a little flute she expected to play. The rain was destroying her books: Destroying her flute. It was all ruined!

At this point the little six-year-old Cordelia burst into tears and right as her attendants were trying to soothe her, she met the dragon who at the time was still a human boy. Accompanied by members of his house, a nine-year-old Cole Turner appeared onto the path leading to the picnic spot so carefully chosen near a beautiful creek. Cole noticed how upset the little girl was. He walked right up to her and handed her a bright red rose and said “oh little Cordy, do not cry; my pretty the day is not ruined”.

Cordelia remembered those words clearly as if they had been spoken to her that afternoon not years ago. She had grabbed the rose and smiled through her girlish tears. Her dark ebony hair was drenched, and the curls were falling flat. Cordelia looked like a drowned mouse standing there in a soaked yellow gown of silk that accented her big brown eyes when she had been called pretty. She would never forget it. Cole always from that moment called her “Cordy, my pretty” when he addressed her.

Oh, how she missed that! How she missed him! Cole from that day forward had become her best friend. It would forever be Cole and Cordelia. They were beyond soul mates. They were each other. She admired the compassion he carried; it came so natural to him. She had loved his bright red head of curls that eventually grew into a handsome maroon as he got older. She missed his bright green eyes so full of kindness.

Cordelia and Cole’s family had arranged their marriage. Cole was not as highborn as Cordelia which suited Henry Fitzgerald fine. He loved his little daughter, who reminded him so much of his departed wife. Henry wanted to ensure that she would keep her home and duchy. He chose the House of Turner for the practical reason they had several sons who needed to marry for power. Henry knew if he chose the youngest son, who had just one title in his own right, his plan would be effective. He would get a son that he could shape to rule the duchy of Ameliadale and someone to treat his daughter well.

He could raise the two to be co-rulers. Henry did not want to just marry off his daughter who would become second and lose her rights. He wished Cordelia could be named as full heir that way he could leave her the duchy; unfortunately, the laws said this is not allowed. A woman could not rule without a husband. Henry resolved he would at least find someone who would be the girl’s partner in every way. So the day of the disastrous picnic the little lord Cole Turner came to live with Cordelia and Henry in the Ameliadale castle.

The fairy and dragon who were still humans would spend the next several years growing up together. The pair were taught by the same tutors, attended the same church mass, learned the same musical lessons, and ate every meal together. They spent all their free time in each other’s company.

Cordelia remembered that there was never a time she and Cole were apart. He was her prince, fighter, and protector. He always stood up and defended her when the occasion called for it. Cordelia smiled as she watched the waves and ocean remembering the time Cole had dropped his goblet of wine down a balcony on Sir Edward Royce. The man’s son Thomas had called Cordelia ugly earlier in the morning when all the children from noble families were out in the gardens surrounding the great church. 

The children tended to be left on their own while the adults remained inside listening to a doctrine the priest was giving. The children’s sermon ended an hour before the adults. They would go to the gardens for a snack while they waited for their parents. The kids usually played around and enjoyed the fresh mid-morning air . They would also get into mischief on any given Sunday. Once the adults finished, they would have lunch and later in the afternoon return for more preaching. Adults and children alike attended afternoon sermons. Dashami was a religious country made up of hundreds of duchies that had farm tenants and villages. 


Thomas Royce had noticed Cordelia and frequently sought to get her attention but the girl had been shy. Cordelia did not “play” like the other children. They often startled her with their loud boisterous games. It had not been until Cole had arrived that the Fitzgeralds even attended church. The priest  gave them private Sunday masses at the castle’s citadel. This however changed when Henry decided as duke that the family should attend Ameliadale’s Great Church. It was time for Henry to leave the grief over his lost wife and show his people he could still govern. This meant making appearances. Cordelia was not use to being outside the castle and around lots of people. It made her nervous. So when the time came to be in the gardens, Cordelia would often find a quiet corner and read her books. She ignored all the children. This gave the girl a look of pretension and to the others it suggested Cordelia thought she was too good for their company. 


So that morning Thomas Royce angered by Cordelia’s lack of interest in his antics, taunted her something fierce. He called her all sorts of names in bad taste. Cole was not about to let this go. He had been chatting with some of the boys nearby. He had heard it all and was about to intervene when the adults walked out of the main building. Cole went to walk with Cordelia but vowed he would deal with Thomas later. That afternoon while the Fitzgerald’s sat in their private pew on a balcony overlooking the entire church. Cole poured his wine beneath the balcony where Thomas Royce and his father sat. This caused a big commotion and stir as the wine splashed the patrons below. Henry, Duke of Ameliadale gave a look of disbelief and disapproval at his young ward but Cole felt justified in the defense of his little fiancé. During the chaos he turned to Cordelia and said “Cordy, my pretty, there see, you have been avenged”. She had laughed and responded by saying “Now I will never fear, my valiant knight and his love does me a great honor,”. 

Yes, I know big speeches for such young people. Cordelia was just seven and Cole was just over ten. 

The thing is though Cordelia and Cole’s love was far beyond their mere years. It was far older and wiser. Also; the children were mimicking speeches they read in their books. Cordelia realized that …now… as she looked back onto that day. How she missed every aspect of her former life. She felt like a shell: An empty shell devoid of anything of substance. When she walked around Gwynhallow she did not speak or smile. She just carried about her business. She did not even attempt to learn any of her new magic abilities that came from being a fairy. She had not even undergone what was required to discover the kind of fairy she was.

The other fairies of Gwynhallow had decided Cordelia just needed more time to adjust and become accustom to her new life. They had no clue she would never be the same without Cole. She was nobody without his light. They were forever separated and it was beyond the comprehension of others who knew not a thing about the essence of Cordelia’s character; which was made up of Cole. They knew of no Cole.

They just knew of the girl who had been considered a princess in her human world. They just knew of the girl who had died and come back as a fairy. They just knew of the girl who saved the life of a dragon against the evil wizard that had caused her death. They had no ability to fathom the love this little fairy had for a dragon. They knew of no Cole. She didn’t tell them either. Cordelia had not spoken in the months she had lived among the fairies. They knew nothing about Cordelia; Because, they knew of no Cole.

She is a fairy. He is a dragon. It was not always that way. She was girl. He was a boy. It was a love more than love. It should have been simple but she is a fairy and he is a dragon. Love … It’s complicated.

TO READ  PART 2 – THE EVIL WIZARD CLICK HERE


© Samantha James and Samantha The Reader Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Samantha James and Samantha The Reader Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


40 thoughts on “When The Pair Met – The Dragon Trilogy Written by Samantha James

  1. It’s a wonderful story, Miss Samantha. It reminds me of how I’d imagine court life to be. I assume you’ve read a lot of old literature to get this access to the world of Kings and Queens. Some minor details showed it to be modern, but I imagine this being in the contemporary world.
    I liked the story, Samantha. It had a certain flare to it that I found familiar to my own writing style. It’s neat that two people who have never met can come to such similar conclusions on this topic—though, my stories tend to involve a lot more tragedy.
    I liked your writing style. I mean, editing could be somewhat of an issue, but I didn’t see anything that detracted from my enjoyment of the story. I think the best way to know you got something good is when people criticize it. It’s because you hit a nerve, and they’re jealous. You’re also writing over some people’s heads, with your description of Vassals and Courtiers, it’s a world of breadth building off of old archetypes.
    Very well put together. I’ll be coming back to read the rest of it. Please don’t compromise on your craft. It is good.

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. I like the story and your writing style. There are many comments above, giving advise on improvement, however, since English is not my first language, i do not find anything wrong. As a reader, it is treat to read it.

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. I see below that a lot of comments focus on editing and minutiae. In one reply, you asked for some editing hints. Here are a couple of the quickest:

    1) When you finish writing, let it sit a little while before editing. When you read it over again, you’ll read something more like what a fresh reader sees rather than what you *think* you wrote.
    2) Read your story aloud. If you have to adjust how you say it, you should strongly consider editing the sentence or writing it over.
    3) Punctuation and grammar are SLOW to learn and rarely perfected. You’ve probably already seen her site, but Grammar Girl (https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-girl) has some helpful hints. Enough information is already on the site that most things you should care about are present.
    4) It seems you have enough dedicated followers that are willing to nitpick! Use it to learn, get better, and eventually you’ll get to the point where you’ll know many naysayers are full of poop.

    I think you’ve got an old enough blog and a lot of experience with reading and blogging, so I hope this recent follower isn’t just preaching to the choir. Good luck, and now following for part 2!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I can’t add much to what people have already said. Be careful with punctuating dialogue, though. There should be a comma after ‘said’ before the actual words. I have a post on punctuating dialogue on Dragond Rule OK (http://aspholessaria.wordpress.com/) if you want help on this.
    You have left enough questions unanswered to intrigue the reader wanting to keep on reading to find out the answers. That’s good.
    I’m looking forward to reading the next installment.
    Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I feel like I need more backstory on where Cordelia and Cole came from. I know there’ll be more later on as to what exactly happened to them and where they are now but I just feel like I need some backstory in this part. It’s missing something. Also is there a point to this: “Dashami was a religious country made up of hundreds of duchies that had farm tenants and villages.”? Based on what you have so far I feel like you don’t even need to mention the country.. Looking forward to seeing where you go from here and hoping that perhaps some more length to the parts will help fill in gaps. Nice start. 🙃📖

    Liked by 1 person

  10. 1. This one for example: It was a love more than love
    You missed the full stop at the end of the sentence. That’s what I meant to say.
    2. I think you could say exactly that, to make things clearer, that the waves disintegrate It’s a really nice image too I think, and this way of saying it makes it clear to the readers as well.
    3. Here I would simply suggest rephrasing if you want. But then again, the reader can lose focus at any point because he’s tired (like I was for instance) so it could have been just my tired mind that wasn’t capable of understanding the full meaning.
    4. Nothing to say here 🙂
    5. The punctuation! At the end of a quote or a dialogue, you of course need either a comma or a full stop before the quote marks, like this: .” or ,” BUT in your case there was a comma, quote marks and a full stop (,”.) and that’s not correct. The right way to put it is .”without the comma I mean, because you’re ending the sentence. If you were to continue with something else before ending the sentence, the comma would have been alright, but without the full stop right after the quotes of course!
    I hope I didn’t mess you up even worse now 🙂 Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

      • Take your time 🙂 I’d suggest fixing what you can now and taking some time before coming back to what you wrote, so that you can put some distance between you and the chapter. It helps with analyzing from an objective point of view, almost as if you were the reader that saw the text for the first time 😉 It works for me anyway! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, I am definitley going to let it sit for awhile. I did a quick revise yesterday but now it is going to sit for a few days while I really concentrate on editing and proofing part 2. I am going to polish the next part as much as I can and then hand it off to a few others to look it over for suggestions. Then will go back to part 1 before I do part 3 edits. I haven’t written a part 4 yet but part 1-3 drafts are done. This is going to be a short story series that I just post on the blog for fun. I also have a lot of other short stories I will be posting. This is so much fun and love how easily connected the blog makes us all. It has truly been helpful as I learn how to write! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • This sounds like an amazing plan! I hope it all works out as planned (or even better). Either way, you have my support ^_^ As a fellow beginner writer, it’s quite amazing to see others just like me struggle and get past their difficult moments in writing, and I think we all have something to learn from each other! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • I could not agree more. In my writing tips post I wrote offering some simple tips I learned so far to help along writing, I specifically say listen and learn from other authors! It is just too important , especially when your like me who has no clue what they are doing! *grin ❤

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  11. This was a unique twist on the forbidden love of heirs, and though it’s not particularly a genre I would read myself, I could see it holding the interest of those who would. For the most part, it flowed well, but I would caution you against the over usage of words and phrases. You use “had” quite a lot and in many instances, it’s not even a necessary addition. You also want to be sure to use the right punctuation for speech. For example: “oh little Cordy, do not cry; my pretty the day is not ruined”. Could have been better expressed as, “Oh little Cordy. Do not cry my pretty. The day is not ruined.” Even if chosen to be spoken differently, there she always be a capital letter at the beginning. Regardless, this is a creative story. Good job.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I’m not very familiar with the romance genre but I do believe this idea is quite unique and I hope the next parts will play out well. In matter of ideas, you’re surely doing great, no comment, but I do have a couple of remarks as of editing… I hope I won’t be too brutal in listing them out, and I’m sure they’re mainly just typos but I feel these are the trickiest ones and the hardest to spot when the one writing them. Here it goes:
    1. In the very first paragraphs, the one-sentence ones I mean, you missed the full stop at the end of some, probably in the rush of getting your ideas through.
    2. “She sat watching the waves roll up onto the shore gradually becoming less and less as they hit the sand.” This is what you wrote at some point, and I want to point out that the waves that become less and less is quite vague. Did you mean they are becoming fewer? Smaller? Maybe it’s an insignificant detail, but it wasn’t very clear when I read it. I’d suggest rephrasing in your own way.
    3. “Cole was not as highborn as Cordelia which suited Henry Fitzgerald fine.” As for this, I believe it’s rather a contradiction. As far as I know, nobles don’t find that marrying commoners is an advantage, but you made it feel like it. It might just be how the world you created works, but right now that idea is not clear so I would suggest adding a “but” or a “however” or an “although” somewhere in that sentence.
    4. “Cordelia was not use to being outside the castle and around lots of people.” I just want to point out the typo in “use” instead of “used”.
    5. ““Now I will never fear, my valiant knight and his love does me a great honor,”.” Here I want you to look at the punctuation. Mind you, the full stop comes before the quote marks 😉 I saw this in a couple of places, I’m sure you can find them yourself.
    Alright, I hope that you don’t hate me now, I’m just trying to be of help. But for these minor remarks, I really like the story, both the idea and your writing style. I find it intriguing and clear, so I’m looking forward to reading more! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Why on earth would I hate you?! I appreciate the valuable feedback you took the time to provide! Could I get clarification on your first point however? I am not sure what you mean exactly in bulletin #1. Now for #2 , really you do not think it is very clear? You know how when waves come on shore and hit the sand, they stop being waves but kind disintegrate. I will contemplate about how I could make the imagery here a bit more clearer. #3 Right after that sentence , the rest of the paragraph goes onto explain why Henry was glad he was not highborn and why it suited him just fine. Maybe you could reread it for me and help me troubleshoot how to make this point more clear. Sometimes I get carried away with my words! #4 Good Catch! #5 I am not very clear what you mean by full stops, and perhaps they are run-on sentences? I am horrible at proofing and editing. If you could explain this more I would be forever in your debt! I truly appreciate all of this and am eager to do a revision with all the wonderful feedback I am recieving here on the blog and in the writing groups, Truly it is helping a lot! ❤

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  13. I am very intrigued and look forward to the next installment!
    Two critiques: It gets repetitive in places. Perhaps try other methods of emphasis than repetition.
    Also, you should avoid using “I” statements in 3rd-person narration. It changes the point of view, like there is someone in the story who is somehow omniscient.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh thank you so much for the suggestion. I am still getting comfortable with narrations and I never should have used I. I appreciate you pointing this out. I need another revise to make sure im sticking to that third person narration I was going for. Thanks so much for taking time to read and your help! 😘💕

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      • I was thinking about your story last night (look at that, you made an impression on someone! Congrats!) and it occurred to me that there is an exception to the “No “I” in 3rd-person” rule, because the second paragraph of The Hobbit includes “I suppose they need some explanation nowadays”. That got me thinking: why does that feel perfectly natural while the instance in your (and some of my earlier works, to be honest) feel like an interruption?
        I think it’s because the narration of The Hobbit is more in a bardic style. It is a written book, but it is written in a way reminiscent of epic poetry, which was in the oral tradition. Tolkien’s use of the interruption was a way of easing the reader into the fantasy setting (which was less common back when The Hobbit was first published) by first evoking the days when stories were told by a storyteller (perhaps in the common room of an inn, in front of a merry fire), and then introducing the more fantastic elements of the story.
        I’m not saying you should try to emulate Tolkien in this case (fairies and dragons are relatively mainstream these days, so you don’t risk alienating the readers the way Tolkien did). I just believe that understanding the underlying theories and techniques is essential to truly great writing, so I thought I’d share my little analysis with another upstart author.
        P.S. I think you’re really going to like the stories I have planned for after I finish Dusk. There are dragons and long-lost loves in there, too!
        And don’t be intimidated to critique my work, too! Perspectives from everywhere are welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow. You put a lot of thought into that. I think I still need to work on how I narrate. I am always changing the narration types. It is something that needs to work on. I love how you thought of an instance and circumstances where it fits! ❤

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  14. I think it flows well also, an excellent introduction to the story. The history of the individuals, how they relate to the story and conversations can happen in latter areas of the book as Samantha states. I think this would bring more suspense and add interest in this type of genre. I am following along on this journey and the questions I have makes me curious as to how this happened, why it happened and what will come of it. Sort of like a mystery or detective book that you want to continue reading to find out the ending. Tolkien didn’t reveal all the secrets in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy but let it play out as the story unfolds keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. i think it flows pretty well but I was confused in a couple places.Who is the Wizard? What role does he play? How did she die? I believe it could stand some editing to tighten up the sentence structure. Who is The Narrator? How do they know this story? What is a faerie? Powers? Fantasy is not my usual genre but I have some familiarity with romance.I believe it would be more alive and animated if there were more dialog between the characters.The answers to these questions will fill in the gaps in the storyline. Its an interesting beginning. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for reading and your feedback❤ I am glad that you took the time to offer your thoughts! A lot of the questions will be answered as time goes on. One of the next parts it devoted to more about the wizard. And faerie means fairy. Just another dialect for it. The story will be published regularly in episodes on the blog as a continues story. Any more feedback in regards to editing? I struggle with that the most! I am trying to get better at editing 😁

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